REASON #83 NOT TO BRING WINTHROP BACK TO NEW YORK CITY WITH ME: The insufferable wind.

Most of you who have known me throughout the years know that I have a certain affinity for a dog who is living in New Hampshire right now. His name is Winthrop and he is one of the most relaxed and laid back dogs I've ever seen... until someone mentions food around him. Then, all bets are off as he will not shut up until you feed his barking trap. I still love him deeply in spite of his dinnertime manners, and I have wanted to bring him back to the city since Kathy left.

Well, today, I was walking down Broadway, and the wind was swirling and extremely heavy, not a unique windy day by any means. As I was walking, I saw a cute little dachshund on a leash who was walking beside an extremely HOT woman. Me, being the absolute tool that I am, paid little attention to the woman as I stared at the short, brown-haired dachshund who was clearly scared about something. I wasn't sure what it was, until I bent down to pet him. As soon as I tried to, a gust of wind blew from the north and literally blew this dachshund about 10 feet, knocking his ass over and rolling him down the street. I wish I could say that I was joking, but I literally saw this dog blow down the street. And he was howling and hooting PLEADING to his airhead owner to STOP THE DAMN STRETCH LEASH CONTROL. FINALLY, the brainiac woman got the idea to STOP this leash 10 feet away, but when she did, I looked up at her as if to say... "your dog just blew down the street while you watched. I hope he's not bulimic like you, honey."

Dachshunds need better aerodynamics.

Well, there's some good news and bad news on the DDR front... the good news is...

I BEAT SAKURA HEAVY!!!!!

The bad news is, I'm still at five songs.

Apparently, there is an ONI version of Paranoia Survivor Max... as if the Paranoia Survivor Max Heavy wasn't hard enough, we now have Paranoia Survivor Max ONI... the stats on the song are probably the scariest thing I've ever seen...

So!

The five remaining songs are now... in order of probable defeat...

Paranoia Survivor
Paranoia Survivor Max (Heavy)
Paranoia Survivor Max (ONI)
The Legend of Max
Maxx Unlimited

Like... yikes. Where do I begin with these five???

ALL THE 9 FOOTED LEVELS IN DDR EXTREME HAVE BEEN DEFEETED!!! (I know it's spelled wrong, it's a play on words... footed.. feeted... never mind)

SO, NOW... WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE?

5... count em... 5!!!!! 5 levels to go!!!!

In order of probable win...

Sakura
Paranoia Survivor
Paranoia Survivor MAX
The Legend of Max
Max Unlimited

They're all 10s or 10+...

Four more beaten...

Fantasy
Gradius Cyber
Healing Vision Angelic Mix
Paranoia Evolution

EIGHT MORE TO GO.

Dynamite Rave ONI (ONI 9)
Insertion (HEAVY 9)
Maxx Unlimited (HEAVY 10+)
Paranoia Survivor (HEAVY 10)
Paranoia Survivor Max HEAVY 10+)
Sakura (HEAVY 10+)
Sweet Sweet Magic (HEAVY 9)
The Legend of Max (HEAVY 10+)

And I got a raise today!!!! Woo hoo! That extra 28 bucks a week after taxes will really knock my knickers!!

And, on Sunday, November 28th, my brother asked his girlfriend, Kristin Lynch, to marry him, in front of hundreds of drunk people falling over themselves and throwing up on the future bride on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, LA. I had 20:1 odds that he would be shot down. It's 20 dollars that I don't mind losing. They are now officially engaged.

I'm proud of my brother. One thing that Shea and I have been unable to do in our lives is to fall completely head over heels with classy women. I think it's always been our one downfall. Shea always got the bright and pretty, yet socially challenged women and I got the beautiful and talented, yet criminal and dishonest women. We both have had our share of dumbasses (and our share of success stories, let's not forget that Shea and I have not been o-fer). But, I really like Kristin, and I think Shea has gotten himself a really good one with her.

I'm giving him about 10 days till he screws it up. 15 tops.

I'm actually the best man at their wedding. Me... the best man. I haven't given my brother the time and energy that I've given in many of the lives of my girlfriends, yet Shea has deemed me special enough to make me the best man. It's a really interesting aspect of life. No matter how much time and effort you give someone who's not a member of your family, it's bound to fall short of your expectations... why is that?

I am working on a project for him that will eclipse all projects for their brothers. It'll be something big... and something that will never be forgotten, as long as he can remember. This will be for Kristin as well... but unfortunately, it loses its luster right now because I'm single (no, you don't know what it is, and Shea reads this, so I can't explain it). But it will still be something that nobody has ever given the groom at their wedding. And, I mean NEVER.

Congratulations, Shea.

The march goes on:

Colors ONI
Trip Machine Climax
Leading Cyber
Paranoia Eternal
Paranoia Rebirth
Ska A Go Go
Tears

...defeated.

...which brings the magic number down to 12.

THE FINAL DOZEN:

Dynamite Rave ONI (never tried it)
Fantasy (deceptively tough song)
Gradius Cyber (never tried it)
Healing Vision (another toughie)
Insertion (haven't tried it)
Maxx Unlimited (yikes. This one could take some time. I can't even beat the standard.)
Paranoia Evolution (This one is very close for me.)
Paranoia Survivor (Anyone get the license plate of that truck?)
Paranoia Survivor Max (See Paranoia Survivor comment and add four wheels to the truck)
Sakura (This is a surprising 10. I'm very close to beating this one)
Sweet Sweet Magic (I have a tough time motivating myself to play a song that's entitled "Sweet Sweet Magic.")
The Legend of Max (I think this'll probably be the LAST one I do.)

The key to my success in the last few days have been relatively simple... keep your feet, and even if you fail, DON'T STOP.