Went to Times Square tonight to sit and think... think about what I want to do. I have Bernie coming over this weekend (my roommate from college) to work on some lyrics for a show not related to Nine 11, so we're going to hammer those out.
But I mean in general. What i want to do.
I have temporarily lost the desire to do Nine 11. Hopefully, it's brief, but it's just so difficult when I get emails back from family members who are less than enthused to see a musical's being written about the darkest day in our nation's history.
I know I'm right. But I'm not sure if being right is important to me anymore. I'd much rather just enjoy where I am.
I think part of the problem is I'm getting turned down by companies for the most MENIAL jobs. They read my resume and tell me things like, "oh, you're not what we're looking for." I got turned down for a position as an HTML Production Manager... an HTML PRODUCTION MANAGER!!!! I've been writing HTML code since 1995... BEFORE most of these companies even CONSIDERED going into the internet business!
The response I got back from these people was "you should've highlighted your skills convincingly." What does that mean? Does that mean you think I lied about the fact that I have personally coded well over 50 corporate web sites, all the while helping to structure and create NH.com at the age of 16 while also being a systems administrator? Are your lives that structured and meaningless that you can't believe someone would get up in the morning, go to work at 9, and go home in the morning at around 2... then start all over again the next day? If you need a reference of THAT, I can definitely give you the numbers of my EX-GIRLFRIENDS. I was great at producing a lot of different things for the company, but I was VERY productive at creating "ex-girlfriends."
I feel like I have to fight harder than a qualified idiot to get a job. My resume is somewhat overwhelming and unbelievable due to all of the things I did professionally. The Matty Award touch is also kind of eyebrow raising for companies hiring here. But please, folks? i would come into the workplace at 9, code your entire site, and be home in time for Price is Right. Do you think I'm scared of the acronyms JSP and CSS? Please, I taught the lead Java programmer for IBM's Client Site division how to program in Java... a HELL OF A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN JSP, which is to Java as lunch meat is to prime ribroast.
The job that I interviewed for before the HTML Production Manager...? It was for the difficult task of HELP DESK. I go in and have a pleasant interview with the woman who brought me in (such a sweetheart). Then I go into the Director of IT's office... a young Russian (probably 30 or so) who looked like he knew his stuff. I sit down, and the guy proceeds to insult my resume... literally... one thing after another. "...you did what at your other job? ...does that make you special?" One crass comment after another until I turn to the person who actually brought me in to interview and ask "Was he born an a$$hole?" I actually was offered that job... lol... but that doesn't count because it's below what I asked for.
Basically, I get the same response from each company... "Why should I hire you? What do you want to do with your life?" I don't get this. Don't people see that I'm doing EXACTLY what I want to do with my life? I think, I create, I develop. That's my lot in life. I don't just code HTML, but I can... and I can do it better than you (no knock on the people out there who know how to code HTML... but I've been doing it for 10 years... if I can't do it better, than I can certainly do it as well). I can program backend databases and front end sites (although NHTheatre.com, with its bugs, isn't a great testament to that, lol). I can support both Apples and PCs with occasional questions stemming from the CORE of the operating system, and I can do it in a professional environment. I can operate and support ANY major piece of Apple Software that exists because I own all of them.
I have compared this argument of a solutions expert vs. a person with vast knowledge of one particular thing to the age old company technology argument: Sun Microsystem's total solution vs. Microsoft/random Intel Hardware. Sun Microsystems packages the operating system onto the hardware neatly. It also incorporates N1 so you don't have to pay for an administrator. Instead of simply paying me due to my large spheres of knowledge (the computer analogy being that I'm the OS, the hardware, AND the administrator of the system), you decide to go the specialized route, which includes paying for the HTML coder (the Microsoft OS), the database programmer for the backend (the Intel Computer), AND the project manager between the two (the adminstrator of the computer)! Three jobs for the price of one... congratulations, your project management certification has done you well... it keeps you in business!
The argument against that would be, "yeah, but Sun boxes can't do as many things as Microsoft/Intel can, hence you're admitting to your inability to do as much as the other three people can!" I actually completely disagree. I still save the company thousands of dollars by simply doing the one thing the other two counterparts hate to do; I devote more time to the tasks, MUCH more, which allows me to further streamline the positions. Both Sun and I have the same problem, though... we have difficulty trying to convince the marketplace as a whole because WE BOTH HAVE DIFFICULTY CONVINCING PEOPLE WHO WERE BROUGHT UP ON STREAMLINING (Microsoft/Intel) THAT HAVING ME (Sun boxes) ON THEIR STAFF (in their company) IS BETTER FOR THEIR BUSINESS THAN THREE STREAMLINED PEOPLE.
So, regardless... enough about my job woes. I go to Times Square, sat there for an hour or two. Then I walk over to Lazer Tag and play a few games of DDR Max. Satisfied with the fact I'm beating Level 9s on a regular basis, and drenched in sweat, I leave the arcade and proceed to walk home. As I'm walking, amidst the crowd, I hear a familiar voice.
"Matty! Matty Gregg."
I'm thinking... "No one in this town calls me Matty." I look almost directly in front of me and see Garrett Hawe, all grown up and looking much more like a man than I ever have seen him look. The first thing I thought about was how young he was back when we did Chorus Line, and how that was not even three years ago! What a difference that time has made in his life. As time has gone on, his sarcasm has become less and less... I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that he has found his calling in life and has chosen to pursue it. We get to talking about his show and his eyes light up. He's so happy where he is and I wish nothing but good things for him. He's a real class act.
He asked about my show, and I told him it was going great. It was up until tonight. I think I'm just tired.
Tomorrow, I have to get this Bluetooth network up and running with the wireless keyboard... 'tis driving me NUTS.
Matty
OH, and I also set up the song list for the OTHER musical I'm working on right now... I think I've struck gold. =)
