Well, I did not get the Jesus Christ Superstar directorialship.

I wish I was saying this out of anger, because when i say things out of anger, they usually end up not coming true. But it's the same feeling I got in the back of my mind when the New Hampshire Theatre Awards made it in spite of everyone saying it would fail.

I'm saying this directly to the Actorsingers board. You failed on bringing the best possible show to Nashua for Jesus Christ Superstar. You failed on getting the most passionate, most complete director for this project. You forget that I live in New York City, and could bring the talent that this show deserves to audition for the main roles. I know that someone will step in and do a great job with the show, but I was planning to write a novel inside the program for this show called "The Gospel According To Judas," which would be given to Andrew Lloyd Webber as a possible jumping off point for future shows.

I was hoping my work in the New Hampshire Theatre Awards would mean something to the state of New Hampshire, ie, the ability to write a script, know the ins and outs of music (although the music would get messed up a bit), and show everyone I was capable of directing an incredible show.

I guess I was unable to express to them how important this show was to me and what I'd do for it.

In some ways, this is a blessing. It allows me to continue on with Nine 11 unabated. But it does put a hint of doubt in my work up to this point: Has my work not been that great up to this point, even in New Hampshire, where EXCELLENCE IN THEATRE was the thing I set up a system to award?

I guess I have to work harder in the future... find the issues prevalent in my own work and fix them.

I'm sad. For Actorsingers, for myself, and for the Jesus Christ Superstar that's been waiting to come out of me for 15 years.

Ah well... perhaps later. Lincoln lost every election on his way to the presidency.